I could have mohawked her pubes.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
