Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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