that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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