dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
