I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
