I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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