she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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