somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
