She announced her abortion via fbk
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
