I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize