Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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