Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
