I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
