I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
