Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
