so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
