Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
