I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
