I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
