I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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