apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize