He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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