i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize