she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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