You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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