Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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