Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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