we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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