Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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