all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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