Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
