We won't sleep together?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm bleeding and have questions
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
