I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
