Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
