Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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