We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
