i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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