O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
