Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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