i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
