im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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