Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
