Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
