I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize