Say something about gay babies.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my being single is dangerous.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
