she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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