I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
