I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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