trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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