we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
