so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
