Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
