I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
