hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
