my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
