It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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