i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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