we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
