gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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